The printed inclusion-and-elementarity assertion is false if transitivity is required of the same submodel. Take the theorem of ZFC that combines the axiom of infinity and the Axiom of power set. Whenever satisfies this sentence, it contains , every subset of , and their actual power set . A submodel contains and , since these are uniquely definable in . If were transitive, it would contain every element of , contradicting countability by Cantor theorem.
The corrected conclusion uses an elementary embedding rather than elementary inclusion. By Lévy reflection theorem, choose with and with Extensionality true there. The Downward Lowenheim-Skolem theorem says that an infinite structure in a countable language has a countable elementary substructure. Apply it to obtain a countable . The membership relation on is externally well-founded, and elementarity makes it extensional. The Mostowski collapse theorem gives an isomorphism onto a countable transitive set. Hence
Indeed : rank induction gives for every . The crucial correction is that , rather than the inclusion of , is elementary. For a formula with free variables, apply this argument to its universal closure.

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